i apologize.

i understand that i have put you through a rough position. and that i am not making your life any easier as you grow. this should be the time where you feel more ease because we're getting older right?i really have no idea what have gotten into me. i know you just can't think of any reason why i've turned into this monster in me,eh? well,here's the truth to you. the only reason why i'm like this is because of him. again,i apologize for what i've done.

you're an asshole.

all my life, i have loved you. if you fucked me up for something i have done, or something i did to you that made you furious, then go ahead. but don't you dare use your power to go against me. "deal with it"? seriously,how immature can you be? you see, if i did something that made you angry and you fuck me up over that, then okay lar, there's nothing i can about it. but using age as a threat to me? if you want me to talk to you nicely, you talk to me nicely. if you say fuck to me,i can say it to you too. what do you mean by "you can't, but i can. because im older than you. so deal with it." what kind of bullshit is that? its not like i wanted to be younger right, its not like i wanted to be born later than you right. so tell me,what did i do wrong? you see, this is exactly why i rebel against you. its because i hate being the youngest, i hate the fact that i can not say anything but i can only take it in. this is exactly why. i only defended what i say because i wanted to stood for myself.

you have said that i'm a monster,that you've given up on me. im sad and i understand what made you say that. but seriously? "i can but you can't? pretty much you're saying in the future right, you can punch me till i bleed and die but i cannot punch you back, just because you're older than me. will i be guilty for hitting you back? no right? thats the problem with you, you always think you're right. that you're the man. and that everyone is not as great as you and we have to respect you. well too bad, some of us don't. you have hurt me so much, but yet i still loved you. but starting yesterday,i have decided that not to. my love for you, is now called hatred. she said that's just how you are, that's just how you express yourself. i don't look at you the same way as i do anymore.

peek over the other side

to every human with flesh and blood,again,i apologize for not keeping my blog up to date.
firstly,i've been busy with my school stationaries and all that cause i was a latecomer,so the laptop was purchased late,the fees were paid late,my computer account was in the system late and textbooks were late. so,it was exhausting for me to run up and down everyday and my hands were always full.
second,the school has WiFi,the hostel also has WiFi. but i didn't had my laptop and my username crap. again,it was delayed for a week or two,then i could access all these.
so i'm back on the net daily! (;

this is my fourth week in Sunway International School(sis),and so far,and i'm already fading fast. At this moment,my head's at the death door. we get at least 3 assignments each week,and there's homework everyday.i whined about this every single day,and the old batch told me this is just the beginning,there's more to come. More to come?what you mean by that?it means i will not be able to spend my weekend anymore?my fridays and saturdays are pretty much,a schooling day now.

yes yes,i am happy that i'm finishing high school by end of this year,instead of next year,i should be grateful. then again,i didn't expect to end my high school life like this,actually. but whatever lar,you know,at least i get the experience of what a malaysian international school is like.

did i mention i was suspected with h1n1?this was outrageously weird,but i was assumed to have the swine flu cause last thursday night,i had a high fever,39.2 degrees. mum drove up to subang and picked me up. She didn't want to send me to just any clinic or the hospital,cause apparently she says that if any doctor or nurse founds a person with my temperature,they'll be quarantined in the hospital,pronto. so mum brought me to southern clinic for check up,given alot of medicines.mum quarantined me in the house,so i only stayed in my room,go online and sleep for 5 days.

finally,i'm going back to school tomorrow,i know that i'll be missing out alot on my subjects,so i was sort of prepared.then i was told that we have a bio test and poetry quiz tomorrow. and its about everything we've learnt this week. i didn't even attend to any class this week.how am i supose to pass my test?then,there's another two more test on friday,same thing also. so i ahve 4 test,that i have the assurance that im gonna fail badly. if i know this would've happened,i rather go to school with my h1n1 flu. what a bullshit man.

thank you

oh thank you lord,you did exactly what i said. thank you!
i got my report cards on yesterday and went to school today.
did a replacement test,English was easy as ABC but maths was just.....*fuhhh*.
i never thought maths could be this hard.
i pray i can get a higher class. *fingers crossed*

oh oh,and i don't think i'll be staying in the hostel,there's no rooms available anymore.which means i have to take ktm and bus everyday.i hope i survive,seriously.and hosheng,make a magic,yeah?i'm counting on you. (; anyway,apparently the hostel are very strict.weekdays i have to be back by 10pm and im allowed to go back on fridays,so that's a plus.

gotta go now,needa take a nap. chaozies!